What has been going on?
Things got a little dark for a little while actually. I wasn’t making any progress for a while and seemed to have more and more problems cropping up. As well as being frustrating from the pure inconvenience, this was quite difficult because of the uncertainty about how long my recovery was going to take. I have written about how difficult this uncertainty around recovery can be before. With no real progress to report, I didn’t see the point in writing a miserable update.
I also struggled with maintaining the right mindset for getting through my latest setback. I was beginning to look for and expect new sources of pain and discomfort whenever I ran. It took a deliberate cognitive realignment and seeking some specific reassurance from my physio, who I have a lot of trust in. Once I got some confidence back I was able to start moving forward again. In the last few weeks though I have begun to get some confidence back in my body and begun running again.
My training is pretty limited at this stage. I am trying to do a run, ride or swim on most days, although have been sternly told to include two days that include none of these (sigh). I am doing a new set of very uncomfortable stretches for about ten minutes each day, but that is about it for regular training.
I am running again! I haven’t had the courage to push myself towards time trials again. I am getting too much adjustment pain as I run that I need to work through before I worry about time. I did manage a game of touch football and was able to run at top speed there (My lungs were hurting more than my legs so I didn’t worry about the knee).
Lesson of the Week
Even for someone who thinks of themselves as positive, succumbing to negativity is frighteningly easy. When you can’t see a clear route to full health again despair is seductive, especially when the freely-offered opinions of people around you is that you have been pushing yourself too hard.
It can be as insidious and hard to prevent as unthinking racism or Islamaphobia in the uneducated. Rationally you know that your fears are hyperbolic, but when the messages you are surrounded by keep reinforcing them, it is easy to start thinking of them as plausible and increasingly likely.
So as mentioned elsewhere, having done myself a pretty significant injury recently, I feel I am making some really good progress towards being healthy and a number of people have said they enjoyed the previous article. While it seems that the word, 'inspiration,' now belongs to people who post nearly naked photos posing on instagram, I hope this page can continue to be helpful to others. I thought I would keep a bit of a weekly journal of my continued journey (I cringed a little bit as I typed that word, thinking of how often it is used by reality tv contestants), including the progress I am making week to week, the work I am doing towards said progress and my observations of how things are going.