Wasn’t it a beautiful Christmas break (unless you were Malcolm Turnbull who continued to look weak and impotent to do anything about continued destabilisation from Bernardi, Christenson and Abbott)? After a weekend that was hotter than demand for inner city property in Hobart, it was a grey cloudy evening for our first game back (although still much brighter than Susan Ley’s future).
Ominously we were up against the DC’s who earlier in the season had torn us apart like East Timor ripping up the treaty over Australian access to its oil reserves this week. And we were nearly down a penalty try before the game started as my top was proving as hard to find as Turnbull’s principles (although I still expect to find it later so maybe not quite as difficult). Luckily the Steczosaurus came to the rescue and brought a spare for me.
With Salt ‘n Peppa and the Mona Lisa away, we had Special K filling in, but other than that we had a full team. Well, we had a full team for all of two minutes, until I turned awkwardly and my ankle showed all the structural stability of the One Nation Party. That was my night over. Which was a bit sad as I was just starting to feel I was hitting peak fitness after a great run the Race to the Taste the week earlier.
It was a fast-paced game right from the start (aside from the pause as I hobbled off). The DCs moved the ball quickly and punished any mistakes in our defence, but for the first five minutes or so, the game was played at a bit of a stalemate, with both defences holding out well. But our lack of subs began to show and the Untouchables’ began to look a fraction slower. The DC’s finally broke through the centre a few times to score in quick succession, before getting a third out wide. The Untouchables struck back with Special K bursting through on the wing, selling a couple of dummy passes as convincingly as Tony Abbott made election promises before diving over the line.
The Dc’s continued to attack our beleaguered defence, but time and again The Collins Class Submarine would surface where needed or the Steczosaurus would chase someone down with a desperate try. But the DC’s had more speed on display than an episode of Breaking Bad, so every now and again they would get through. They scored two more before La Nina surged over the try line and checked her pass at the last moment for the White Walker to dive onto and double our score right on half time.
From the first half, it was becoming apparent that our opponents’ strategy involved women about as much as federal cabinet does, so we began to concentrate more on their male players. By trying to reduce the gaps that the DCs’ men could run into, the Untouchables began the second half with a more compact and effective defence. After conceding a try on the far wing, the Untouchables enjoyed a good period at the start of the half where they largely held their opponents out. Special K showed the energy she is famous for and dived over (well eventually over) the line for another try, before King Richard delivered some royal service to the White Walker to score another with little space to work in.
Through selflessness and hard work, the Untouchables had reduced the deficit considerably (a shame Mr Morrison and his friends can’t do the same), but that was about as close as we got. As end game fatigue set in, our defence lost a bit of cohesion and despite our best efforts at times looked as out of sync as Mariah Carey. This allowed the DCs to get over for another handful of tries for an end score of 11-5.
With a few players out this wasn’t a bad result, and an improvement on the previous time we played the same team. A little more improvement and if we meet the DCs in the finals, it will be a close game.