So before parenthood I didn’t think I took myself too seriously. I was always happy to share a laugh, even when it was at my own expense and never thought I spent too much time worrying about what others thought about me. But while I’m usually very comfortable in my own skin, Fatherhood taught me that I was more self-conscious than I had thought and that I needed to lighten up further. Without ever having interrogated the underlying reasons, I had assumed I wouldn’t use a lot of baby talk or silly voices when talking to my daughter. In fact, the thought of the activity made me a little uncomfortable. Why I can’t think of a good reason, other than that it would be embarrassing (I also really struggle trying to speak local languages when I am overseas for presumably similar reasons).
Thankfully, the notion that I wouldn’t indulge in this type of language play was quickly proven false once the little girl starts making her own noises. The excitement of seeing her developing her range of sounds quickly overwhelmed any previous misgivings about the practice and within days I was speaking all manner of gibberish without a second thought or sense of discomfort. And I’m so glad it has. Aside from the smiles they elicit from my daughter, these early verbal interactions are amazing to be part of. Now as I carry her through the streets or the crowded shopping centres I am happily making all kinds of noises, heedless of the occasional odd look I get from those around me. It would be nice to think parenthood has finally allowed me to truly reach the point of not caring how others perceive me, but no doubt I will discover others aspects of life that I am still self-conscious about and hopefully I’ll get over them too. There are far too many other things to worry about in life, to spend time worrying about what other people think of me.
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Dad thoughtsI haven’t had much chance to write much over the last couple of weeks. This has largely been to do with the birth of my daughter, which has had a profound impact on my life. As a corollary of this, a fair amount of my thoughts and observations may shift to the new topic of parenthood. I’m not planning on stealing from Sonia Kruger’s playbook and use the phrase, “as a parent,’ to make claims with no factual basis, but parenthood is a complex and fascinating area so I will be making a few comments about my experience of it. Archives
October 2020
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