The last time I tried yoga, Australian PM’s served full terms and its voters cared about climate change. So when Amy invited me to come along to the first Lululemon winter yoga session I could hardly refuse, but I was a little nervous. A little unsure of what to expect- would I be melting like the polar icecaps or as loose as Prince Phillip’s driving- I rocked up to the newly reopened Mana Movement Studio on Murray Street with about three different sets of clothes- one for every eventuality (except I didn’t think to bring a mat- but thankfully was able to pick one up at the studio). A quick look inside told me it wasn’t going to be a sweat fest, but was still pretty warm, so I chucked on a singlet and a pair of shorts and emerged slightly sheepishly from the changeroom, conscious that my runners’ feet were still fairly disfigured from the recent punishment they suffered at UTA (although to be fair they look as banged up as the Australian economy at the best of times), then realised I didn’t know what to do next. Do you warm up before yoga? What stretches should you do before a stretching class? Not really knowing the answer, I just lay down and made the most of 10 minutes uninterrupted quiet (a rare experience since I became a dad).
The simply furnished room was peaceful and relaxing but all too soon it was time to start. I knew I was in trouble straight away. We started in a seated position with some gentle movements to loosen ourselves up, but to the tightly wound muscles in my hamstrings and groin I may as well have already been performing extreme contortions from the start. I followed along as best I could and soon we were moving into a more dynamic series of movements alternating between standing and prone positions. Participants around me swayed gracefully into poses as I struggled with all the awkwardness of a Trump Twitter barrage. I was starting to really struggle with a few of these actions and had to fight back the urge to swear under my breath (you never know when there might be an off-duty AFL employee around and I didn’t want to get kicked out for bad behaviour). But for all my initial nerves and ongoing clumsiness I didn't at any stage feel embarrassed about my struggles. The atmosphere of the class was relaxed and accepting and as teh time went on I felt like I was slowly getting the hang of some of the movements. We enjoyed a short period of standing rest, while Lauren encouraged us to let go of those stressors in life that were not bringing us joy. While I didn’t feel there was too much for me to let go of, I did enjoy the subtle Marie Kondo reference, not to mention a couple of minutes of stillness, but soon enough we were back into it. I can’t get anywhere near touching my toes as my back is about as inflexible as Israel Folou’s disdain for the LGBTI community. This was proving a bit of an issue for a number actions, but I made do as best I could. We continued to change position as frequently as Pauline Hanson changes position on tax legislation, but I felt like I was slowly catching on. Sooner than I expected the pace of the class slowed. We were finding less strenuous poses and holding them for longer. I found myself lying on my side feeling surprisingly rested by the time the class finished. As it was a special event, the class was followed by a delicious dinner. The whole class sat around a low table talking and eating together. I had worked up a considerable appetite by now so I was tempted to grab everything within reach and not wait to see that everyone had a chance to eat something (people who believe in neo-liberal monetary theory would probably not see anything wrong with this), but instead I started with a small assortment of the foods offered and soon after realised there was significantly more food than the group could eat and gleefully went back for seconds and thirds. For all my fumbles and missteps, it was a very enjoyable and nourishing evening and I was very glad I made it.
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