One minute before the start of the game both teams looked be having problems with numbers that Scott Morrison could relate to (I don’t mean not being able to count which is a separate problem I suspect the treasurer suffers from- just that they were looking deficient). As often happens though, players from both sides appeared like ninjas on the starting siren and both sides had plenty of players (if only Morrison could fix his numbers as easily).
The game started started brightly for the Untouchables, dominating early play until the She-steczosaurus found a tiny bit of space in the corner and danced around the defence, like multinational corporations dancing around our tax laws to open the scoring.
The impact of La Nina continued to be evident and her lofted pass out to the same wing soon after made the score two-nil. It wasn’t long before we had our third too, when the Steczosaurus showed evasive skills that would make Christopher Skase jealous and dived over the line as the defence converged on him.
The Free Rangers hit back with a quick attacking move that forced our defence to lose cohesion in the middle of the ground and allowed the dummy to get free in the scoring zone, finally getting the ball out to the wing for a score. Things got a little heated at times too, with one player in particular overreacting like the Australian cricket media after the Hobart cricket test. The umpire finally stopped the game and told everyone to pull their head in, much to the bemusement to some of us who thought we were already being pretty generous towards some missed calls.
The Untouchables piled on the pressure in the second half and unlike the rights of old white men (Steve Price, I’m talking to you), the Free Rangers were definitely under threat. The Collins class submarine and the archangel Gabby continued to appear exactly where needed in defence, preventing the Free Rangers to get much momentum in their attacking play. The White Walker replicated the Stegosaurus’ heroics with another diving try, before doubling his account with a run from half way that saw the out of position defence falling apart like the One Nation Party. Much like the South China Sea, the Untouchables were looking dangerous at all times now and working with a unity of purpose akin to Pauline Hanson always voting with the Liberal Party. Instead of playing predictably sticking to one side of the field, we were changing the angles of our attacks and wrapping as energy and enthusiasm of the A.B. Originals (who are now the subject of a campaign to have their song voted number one in the Triple-J Hottest 100).
I got a bit carried away with the wrapping moves and threw a pass to King Richard that was intercepted and run the length of the field for a try, but we continued to play expansively and manoeuvring like Little Finger in Game of Thrones. The She-steczosaurus showed another explosive burst of speed to beat the defence for another try, while her husband ran over for our seventh soon after. The Free Rangers also got another with a really sharp bit of play that split La Nina and myself like Corey Bernardi is threatening to do with the government, but it was never going to change the result at this point.
This was the last game before Christmas (a holiday which somehow happens every year despite all the memes that tell me it will be cancelled because of the Muslims) so everyone gets a few weeks off. Enjoy the holidays and the weather, everyone. See you all in the new year.