So one of my early observations after becoming a father was that it was even harder than I expected. However I never got around to writing the accompanying piece that it is also even more moving and joyful than I had ever believed possible. I am a fairly unemotional person and my life had already included its share of pretty big moments up until I became a parent; so I thought I had some idea of my emotional range at this point. Turns out I was wrong- by a fair margin too. I had no idea of the joy that my daughter’s smiles and laughter would elicit in me. This obviously has the potential to be double-edged, as the sick feeling I get when I see her sick or injured is pretty tough to handle too. But as she grew over the first two years of her life it was primarily the uplifting moments that dominated my world, punctuated by the occasional mishap of course. And the older my daughter got (I may well revise this sentence in another decade) the easier and more enjoyable parenting became. As her language developed, she could clearly communicate what she wanted and (just as importantly) what she didn’t want, which took a lot of guesswork out of parenting and the excitement of watching her learn to speak is pretty amazing. I had no idea how quickly it would happen.
I remember bedtimes at one time were quite stressful. I would lower my daughter into her cot as gently as if I was handling explosives (which I kind of was); before tiptoeing out of her door and breathing a massive sigh of relief if she didn’t start crying. But by the time she was two, bedtime had become one of the highlights of the day, as we joke and play and read together until I eventually manage to pull myself away. I hope nothing I wrote earlier about the challenges of parenting put anyone off. I certainly want people to know it is a challenge, but it is truly the greatest thing that has happened in my life. I know tell people how important my family is more often than Vin Diesel does in the Fast and Furious movies. Admittedly it is hard at times, but those moments are exponentially outweighed by the joy and excitement that it hits you with over and over again.
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Dad thoughtsI haven’t had much chance to write much over the last couple of weeks. This has largely been to do with the birth of my daughter, which has had a profound impact on my life. As a corollary of this, a fair amount of my thoughts and observations may shift to the new topic of parenthood. I’m not planning on stealing from Sonia Kruger’s playbook and use the phrase, “as a parent,’ to make claims with no factual basis, but parenthood is a complex and fascinating area so I will be making a few comments about my experience of it. Archives
October 2020
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